A while back, I conducted a study known as the Affair Recovery Survey. After compiling the results and analyzing them, I gained new insights on affairs.
The experience was humbling. Some of what I thought I knew, I was mistaken about. I tested many hypotheses about affairs and affair recovery.
I also learned more about what you are concerned about and where the problems lie.
One of the surprises was that a person’s religious beliefs and convictions had little correlation with whether or not they would have an affair. This means is that you may believe affairs are wrong, yet it doesn’t stop you from having one.
What I didn’t know from the survey is how extensive this problem is. The other day, I glimpsed how extensive the problem is.
I saw another survey about affairs reporting that 74% of men would have an affair if they wouldn’t get caught. In this case, what they belief or their values has little bearing on whether or not they cheat.
When I shared these results with my wife, her response was “that’s awful!”
I didn’t share with her how 68% of women said that they would have an affair if they didn’t get caught.
This means that good guys or men with good values are at risk for cheating along with good women. Cheating can happen to anyone regardless of what they believe. Not only can it happen, the majority of people, both men and women would do it.
With such a high number of men and women willing to cheat if they can get away with it, I realize it means that 3/4 of men will cheat if the circumstances are right. I also know that over half the women would do it as well.
That has me wondering about how committed they really are to their wives and their husbands.
It tells me that even marriages with ‘good values’ have to be on constant guard against affairs. It also tells me that the fear of getting caught keeps people from having affairs more than their values do.
At the Restored Lifestyle support group I addressed the Affair Recovery Survey and its finding in greater depth and what that means regarding your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
