Anytime I come across thought provoking quotes, I make note of them. When they’re good quotes I put them in my collection. In the case of misleading or negative quotes, I make my personal notations beside it.
If you saw my personal library, you’d see books filled with comments, markings and diagrams. Instead of coloring in my books, I mark them up.
Last month, I came across a collection of quotes from Esther Perel. She is currently being touted as a leading affair recovery specialist by media outlets and TEDx.
Many of her quotes were thought provoking and challenging. Some were on the money, while others raised my skepticism.
One quote made it clear that Esther Perel hasn’t read “How Can I Trust You Again?” She said, “trust is the active engagement with the unknown. Trust is risky. It’s vulnerable. It’s a leap of faith.”
Although her statement has some points to consider, when she says ‘trust is a leap of faith’, she clearly isn’t familiar with the Trust Formula I present in the book.
Had she been familiar with the trust formula, she’d know what the ingredients of trust are without guesswork or being a leap of faith. If something was missing, she’d know what it was.
She’d know specifically what trust is built on. There are specific and knowable ingredients. Trust has a solid foundation rather than something you take a gamble on.
If her version of trust is jumping into the unknown, I wouldn’t want it. That kind of trust isn’t the kind you want in your marriage.
I agree that trust requires active engagement and that it’s risky at times. The risk isn’t about it being a leap of faith in something that’s unknown, it’s more about taking a chance on making yourself vulnerable with someone whose been inconsistent or let you down.
Instead of being blindsided, you can know the areas where trust in your marriage relationship is shaky. In my mind the leap of faith isn’t a blind leap, it’s one where you know the potential dangers and you can see them.
Esther says trust is dealing with the ‘unknown’. If you consider trust as something that’s totally unknown, you can do something about that. You can know what part of trust needs improvement.
Click and download “How Can I Trust You Again?” and you too will know about the Trust Formula which points out what areas need attention and correction.
You no longer have to engage with the unknown. You can know what needs correcting in your marriage relationship.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
