I hope your week’s been going well. Do you have any stories to share? Stories are an important way of making sense of things and organizing your mind.
Telling your affair story is important for you and your spouse. It’s important for many others like you as well.
Stories have a healing quality to them. When you tell a story, its’ a way of letting go of painful episodes and loose ends. Each time you tell your story, it allows your mind to regroup and organize.
This is one of the reasons your story of the affair or the cheater’s version of the affair changes. Each time it’s told, you see different pieces in a new light.
The way your brain is organized, each time you tell the story, something shifts. This represents your brain changing and reorganizing the events. Each time the story is told, new connections are made in your brain and the story takes a new pathway through your memories.
It’ not that the events changed, what you notice and pay attention to changes.
It’s not by accident that Frank Sinatra rarely sang the same song the same way. In a similar manner, you’ll never tell your story the same way each time. New insights, new connections and new meanings will change what comes out.
Frank Sinatra was never accused of being a liar or falsehood as a performer for changing his song. This was part of his routine.
In a similar way, you’ll hear different versions about the affair. These reveal the changes occurring in the thinking of the cheater and yourself.
Your stories are the way you make sense of the affair and what happened to you. The way you tell it is unique to you. Your choice of words, your choice of events that stand out, and your way of expressing them are statements about you.
Just in the choice of words as to whether you call it an affair, adultery, cheating, catting around, straying, sleeping around or something else, it says something about you, your values and your understanding of events.
I go into more detail about how what you call events impacts your thinking in the webinar ‘Getting you past the affair crisis’. It guides you through that time period where you’re stunned and trying to make sense of things.
Even if you’re past that, there may be some things you missed along the way, or that you just rushed through. Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
