As a cheater, you likely find yourself chasing dreams. When you cheated, there was an intense experience. The combination of many feelings all at the same time is often overwhelming. Thrills, fears, relief, release, and the anticipation of more is a lot for anyone to handle. There are many dangers associated with affairs, one is the danger of ‘chasing the dream’. Like a drug addict who chases the intense experience they had with their first high, you may find yourself chasing after the initial ‘high’ of the affair. The danger of ‘chasing the dream’ is that no matter how many people you cheat with or how often, it will never satisfy that longing to recapture that night. Chasing after the dream is just that. You will always be chasing something that is illusive. The lover is a real person who has real needs, along with bad habits and body odors. In your infatuation, you may view them as a vision of loveliness or something that came down from heaven. The lover is neither. Holding onto that fantasy will only lead to disappointments and further heartaches. Instead of you satisfying the dream, it will instead leave you with destroyed lives and surrounded by hurts. Each time you chase after the dream, someone will be hurt. The closer you get, the greater the hurts.
The crazed desire to repeat what happened is almost an obsession. No matter how many times you repeat what happened, it will never be as intense or as gratifying as that first time. Chasing after it is a loosing proposition. With each effort you make to chase it, you will find yourself another step deeper in an unreal world filled with people that have real needs, real feelings and real hurts.
The best thing you can do is to stop chasing what can not be captured or relived. Let go of the fantasies and work on repairing the damage that has been done.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
