For those of you who are in the midst of an affair, a question that needs your attention is “How do you want your spouse and children to learn about the affair?” Although most think that they are too smart to get caught or that they are clever, the likelihood is that your family knows. If they don’t know the details, they know that something is different, that you have changed. Eventually they will put the pieces together.
Would it be better that an honest answer came from you concerning the affair or would you have them learn about it from friends, acquaintances, mysterious phone calls, divine intervention or discovery of the evidence. Since people often guess wrong and make assumptions that are not accurate, do you want them to learn about you that way or from you. If you are going to get past this thing, it will require courage, honesty and communication. Rather than avoid the issues, you will need to face them. You will need to face the consequences or potential consequences of your actions and choices. If you do the damage control, than you will have some say in things. If you wait until they find out, it may be the lawyers and others will be doing damage control in which you will not have control over anything.
Think about the question. You will also need to take action now rather than wait for something to happen and someone to find out.
Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
One Response
I so appreciate the intention of this post but can’t help but wonder what a person who is considering an affair or in one would be doing here.
I personally do not think ANY way of learning your life long spouse has been lying, cheating and stealing …but then again it would have been nice had my husband had the integrity, maturity and respect for me and our marriage to tell me …but then if he had had ANY of those character traits REAL ones he would not have even gotten INTO any kind of territory …spiritually , mentally or physically if he had been any one of those things.
I found out in the process of trying to help him locate some papers he needed….photos of the two children and an email from his long term adulteress who had them with him!
Nothing I have experienced in my life in terms of this kind of betrayal and pain can equal this and that includes some pretty good contestants for this title.
My children now will not be able to afford any kind of wedding since my husband gave millions to the OW ‘for their children’ and our finances are in the hole big time …and I am way over the age limit to be any help in trying to make any kind of comeback …being retired….
So the OW basically maneuvered all of the weaknesses in my husband to get away with grand theft as well as putting his family in all kinds of danger and destruction.
No one would have EVER dreamed we would be in this kind of financial situation at this stage of life…esp since my husband is in finance…guess when sin has consequences listed in the word of God we should take note of how specific they are and not assume that those are only for ‘others.”
The biggest deal of course is what happens to the SOULS of those who do such things…not that forgiveness is not available ..from humans and God but the minds of those who do this are not prone to seek it or repentance or to take a LORD over their lives.
The losses to me are one thing but to now see how it is having so many effects upon our children and relationships that were once thriving among friends and family …it is simply so difficult to deal with .
A wedding on the horizon for one and no where near the ability to really engage the way we might have or need to be.
ONE SELFISH person meets another gold digger …both believe they are ABLE to twist the reality of others and have no problems ….I actually think THEY are not having much damage to themselves …at least no where near what all of those who have been collateral damage have ….
My husband likes to tell me that I “shouldn’t ‘ feel so bad and that he is ‘not worth it’ !
Isn’t that just another way to not take responsibility for the damage that he and she have caused all????