In going through a book of poetry, I found reference to a person’s heart being ‘fixed’ to something. On doing some research on the term, it refers to the object of one’s affection. It is a reference to the foundation on which one’s heart is attached. I realized quickly that this does have a bearing on affairs and recovery from them. A hurt spouse will sense whether or not your heart is firmly attached to them and to the relationship. When the heart is attached to one’s personal peace or ‘peace of mind’, the spouse senses that and oftentimes reacts. They will sense when apologizes are aimed at ‘keeping the peace’ rather than those focused on resolving the issues.
In order to resolve the issues, you heart will need to be fixed on them and seeing the situation from their perspective. You will trying to understand what they are telling you. When the majority of your time is spent either defending your position, ‘correcting’ your spouse or pointing out their faults, your heart is NOT fixed on them or the relationship. In such situations, your heart is focused on you.
It is important that before any reconciliation take place, that your heart be fixed on them.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
