Although you may be angry at your spouse over the affair, it does not mean that your children are angry at them. It is a false assumption to presume that your children will have the same reactions to your spouse’s affair that you do, or that they will feel the same way. Although the umbilical cord was cut at birth, many parents continue operating as though the connection still exists.
Making decisions on the assumption that your reactions will be the same as your child’s reaction often leads to further problems. At the least, these false assumptions can lead to strains in the relationship with your children or communication problems. Making decisions based on false assumptions can lay the ground work for problems such as “Parent Alienation” when steps are taken to keep the child from the parent.
In order to avoid making wrong decisions, it will be important to discard wrong assumptions. One of the first wrong assumptions to discard it that of assuming that your child feels the same way that you do.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
