Maintaining fidelity in marriage is a product of maturity. When people have been able to grow up beyond the self-gratification, and self-serving drives, they learn to delay gratification and can maintain fidelity. Although developing relational maturity is desirable, many people and modern culture itself often idealizes the less mature self-focused immediate gratification seeking mindset. It is difficult to maintain a relationship in such a mindset. When couples are caught up in this mindset, they maintain fidelity only as long as they are being watched or scrutinized by the other spouse. This kind of loyalty based on supervision does nor provide the kind of long-term commitment and stability needed to maintain long-term relationships. It only leads to “I’ll be loyal as long as I am watched” mentality.
The immaturity of relationships is often seen in how the couple jokes with each other, what they do for entertainment and how they have navigated the separation from their families of origin. When signs of immature relationships show up in those areas, it is only a matter of time before it impacts the marriage as well.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
