When you and the cheater have different religions, you may face some additional struggles. Take for example, the views you have on the Bible. If the cheater’s religion views the Bible as “containing” God’s word, and yours views the Bible as God’s word, the difference is not just semantics. Those religions that view the Bible as ‘containing’ God’s word often tolerate affairs, and only try to discourage them, while those religions that view the Bible as God’s word speak authoritatively that Affairs are ‘wrong’, without question. Those two positions are world’s apart. Although both of your religions may use similar words, when they have two totally different world views, the two of you will be worlds apart. It is hard to convince a cheater of the ‘wrongness’ of what they are doing if they adhere to a religious system that values their happiness and intentions above all else. In such cases, what is in their heart is seen as what is important, rather than what they actually did.
Growing up in Pasadena, Texas, the church I attended stressed the meme “It does make a difference what you believe”. As I grow older, I see the wisdom in that meme. When you and your cheating spouse have such a wide difference in world views, there is little common ground. Having common ground and a common commitment is important in making changes to improve your relationship. Without common ground, they can claim that “you are being too uptight”, or “that you are over-reacting”, and according to their religion, they may be right, when according to your religion, you may be right. When the objective authority of the Bible is in question, you have bigger problems that the affair.
I know I do not typically address this topic with this kind of frankness. Given the seriousness of affairs and what all is at stake, I felt the need to address it. many of you may find yourselves frustrated at trying to get your spouse to see the affair through the same eyes that you do. When they have a different view of ‘truth’ and the Bible, they may never view the affair like you do. They are operating according to a different set of ground rules than you do. In such cases, the problem lies more in the difference of religion rather than your rhetoric skills.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
