One of the dangers of the modern unchurched population is that the unchurched no longer have the moral structures keeping impulsive sexuality in check. When you have the morals in place, they act as a back stop that protects you from potential damage.
When you remove the moral standards, then relationships become an emotional free for all. It also removes the social stigma surrounding affairs.
Churches do not prevent affairs from happening. The church environment slows down the affair, which is often what it takes for cheaters to come to their senses.
Some cheaters view the morals as barriers keeping them from having ‘fun’. What they don’t realize is that their idea of ‘fun’ involves someone getting hurt or being taken advantage of.
When the fun is one-sided and surrounded by secrecy, I can guarantee it is not a healthy kind of fun. One sided fun means someone is being exploited.
The organizations and lovers out there that are encouraging potential cheaters toward affairs know this. This is one reason why they encourage potential cheaters to ‘act on impulse’, ‘call now’, indulge yourself, or ‘we are just a click away’.
Messages such as these encourage cheaters to ‘take action’ based on emotion. Once the moral structures are gone, you are vulnerable to the emotional appeals.
When morals are in place, the conscience often keeps the emotional impulses in check. When you remove the morals, you’re left with emotional impulse.
They (the seducers encouraging affairs) present an affair as an ideal solution to any kind of problem the potential cheater has. If your spouse is too busy…have an affair.
If you want some fun….have an affair. If you need to feel alive….have an affair, etc., etc., etc. They present affairs as the ‘fix-it’ solution to any problem the potential cheater is experiencing.
The strategy of seducers is simple. Engage the target sensually. Once they are aroused in some way, then encourage them to act on their emotions.
It’s much easier manipulating someone who is aroused than someone who has their wits about them or has moral convictions. When you add alcohol or drugs to lower inhibitions, the likelihood of giving in to impulses increases.
When the cheater is in another city, away from home, they’re even more likely to take risks. Like a scale, when the seducer rigs the situation to where the pressure to act impulsively outweighs the restraints, the affair ‘just happens’.
As from the illustration, several factors and choices were involved before the affair ‘just happened’.
When you work back through the process of an affair, you uncover all the choices made. You start seeing the affair as the result of a series of choices.
A solid affair relapse prevention plan includes this kind of working back. In the video “Preventing Affair Relapse”, this is one of the topics I cover. Working back through the choices help you see affairs in a new light.
Best Regards,
Jeff
