A reader posed the thought provoking question, “Is re-marriage adultery?” After doing a double take on the challenging question, I told myself, “An honest question deserves and honest answer!”
The answer you come to on the re-marriage issue depends on which standard you are using. This amounts to which jurisdiction you are under.
The first orders of business in any court is determining whether or not you’re under their jurisdiction. This is also important regarding whether or not re-marriage is adulterous.
If you are using a strict paleo-conservative view of Biblical standards, the answer is “Yes, re-marriage would be considered adultery”. Like any legal system, there is fine print regarding what constitutes a legitimate marriage and the circumstances surrounding the marriage.
You would need to investigate whether those circumstances and fine print apply in your situation.
The Bible is very clear that re-marrying your spouse after they’ve been married to someone else is adultery. This also includes sleeping with them again AFTER marrying someone else.
I’ve encountered more situations where cheaters sleeping with their exes than remarriage after being married to someone else.
Some churches get around the idea of remarriage as adultery by claiming re-marriage is only adultery if your previous spouse was a Christian. Those churches take the view that marrying a non-Christian previously is a “gimmie” that does not count in terms of keeping score.
It shouldn’t surprise you that some of the people attending those churches view affairs as a non-issue is one of the spouses is a non-Christian. Such a stance treats the non-Christians as persona non Grata.
Another affair dodging church ploy is claiming that the verses demanding leaders be married to one woman means ‘one woman at a time’. As long as you are married to only one woman, the restrictions on remarriage or divorce and marrying someone else don’t apply.
Another way some churches get around the remarriage as adultery is through annulment. When a marriage is annulled, it no longer counts. If you weren’t married before it removes the stigma from the annulled marriage.
Since the authority for family law for many years was the church, the old rules continue impacting our lives. Although the secular legal systems have taken over family law, including divorce and re-marriage, the early influences have a long tail which continues shaping how re-marriage is viewed in moral terms.
If you are talking about your state legal system, the answer is “No”. Once you are divorced, or the marriage is annulled, the old relationship is over.
When it is over, you’re free to start a new one with a clean slate. When you re-marry or even re-marry several times, it’s still not considered adultery assuming you ended each one correctly.
If you attempted to charging someone with adultery in the courts after they had been divorced, you’ld be laughed out of the courtroom.
Consider which jurisdiction you are under. That rules they go by determines whether or not re-marriage is considered adultery. If you are under tribal law, or common law, or some other religious law, those rules are the ones that would apply to your situation.
Your local lawyer or judge would be the person who could tell you which jurisdiction you are under and how it views re-marriage.
The next question, which needs to be considered is “If your re-marriage is adulterous, what are you going to do about it?” You’ll have to consider what it means and what you will do. There’s also the question of whether you need to do anything different, since once you’re married, you’re committed to who you are married to.
If adultery is a concern in your life, the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you through recovery. Rather than using trial and error to find your way, you can instead use proven ways of getting results. Your marriage can survive an affair.
Best Regards,
Jeff
