There are times in the aftermath of an affair, you experience the sensation of feeling stuck. Stuck in terms of emotions, behaviors and circumstances.
The sensation of being stuck is often accompanied by a sense of hopelessness followed by desperation. The experience is unpleasant and painful. You want out, but there are no ‘easy options’ out of your situation.
When you can’t move out of the situation, it adds powerlessness. The added powerlessness brings even more desperation.
I recall the sensations that hit me when I found myself stuck on a jungle mountain road in a small foreign country. There were no phones or people around. In a moment, all the enthusiasm I had suddenly ran out.
My mind raced with ideas of what to do, with the sudden realization that although my ideas would work in Texas, I was not in Texas anymore.
A sense of panic surrounded me as the skies became darker with night approaching.
Eventually, I found a solution that worked, and I managed getting down.
As my dad said when he was diagnosed with cancer, “I’ve looked at all the options, and they ALL suck.”
You want out, but everything you’ve tried up to this point hasn’t worked. You’re still stuck.
Getting unstuck involves changing what we think. Many times the sensation of being ‘stuck’ occurs when the options we see are all unpleasant.
In such situations, it is time to change thinking about the situation. When you change your thinking, you’ll see new options. They may not be pleasant or easy options, but that doesn’t mean they won’t work.
With affairs, it is important to remember that the affair was the adulterers solution to what they perceived as a ‘problem’. Even though the solution created more difficulties than the original problem, they are unable to see that.
Recognize that there are other options. Look for those options.
My video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma” deals with getting you unstuck from the emotional torment. With trauma, you may have tried to the point of discouragement.
Rather than staying stuck, you can instead, move on with your healing.
Best Regards,
Jeff
