Have you given serious thought to what the steps are in the progression of an affair? I have pondered that concern for a while. Presently my working model is this:
Self-Defeating Thoughts->Self-Defeating Behaviors-> Affair Fantasies-> Seeking Out an Affair->Being in Situations/Locations condusive to and affair-> Having the Affair
Granted, I recognize that most people do not seriously consider the steps they go through before getting into someone’s knickers. They probably progress so quickly through the steps, they do not realize the sequence. The model does provide a way of understanding the affairs and what occurred. There are often triggers that begin the self-defeating thoughts as well, although I have not mapped those out at this juncture.
Preventing the affair could be done at any juncture, although the further along one is in the sequence, the more difficult it becomes. The real enemy is not the other man/woman, it is the thoughts in the adulterers mind and how the resolute spouse deals with those thoughts.
This will provide readers with a way to make sense out of the sequence of events and help them to see where they might fall in this pattern.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
