When it comes to moving inspirational stories filled with drama and emotion, I am no Richard Paul Evans. Nor do I make emotionally dramatic videos or albums like Trans Siberian Orchestra. As a counselor, I’ve learned the importance of taking the wins when they happen. One of my therapist friends, Robert Pace often reminded me that “Counselors are God’s janitors”. Over the years, I’ve come to realize the wisdom and truth of his expression.
I was moved by a client that went from his life’s desire of being an adult film star to conducting a prison ministry with his wife. It was a phenomenal transformation.
When he first showed up, both he and his wife were promiscuous. What was left of their marriage was filled with conflict, threats of break-ups and rampant drug use. His face was haggard, reminding me of the expression, “wrung out like an old dish rag”.
Adult film, wild sex and drugs will wring you out like an old dish rag. It also ages you quickly. You can pile on the make-up, but it doesn’t cover the years that such a lifestyle puts on your face and your heart. Once he started making changes, his wife saw them. She wanted changes in her life as well. She could keep up with the wildest bunch, but she was tired of the wild lifestyle as well. She knew it was time for a change.
The road of their recovery was filled with ups and downs. They had moments of forward progress followed by backsliding. Despite the ups and downs, they persevered. Over the years even though they often fought with each other, they discovered that they really did love each other and were committed to each other.
Recovery was slow, taking months rather than weeks. After over a dozen months, their faces grew softer, and that ‘hard edge’ they once had was gone. They became very giving. The two of them began ministering in prisons, helping others who are in dark places.
I mention this since it is near Christmas and one Christmas they gave me a gift of a home made handicraft picture. The picture reminded me of the transformation that had gone on in front of my eyes. From hardcore to caring for others. The soft colors and gentle lines of the artwork reflected the gentle creative spirit that was still inside of them.
Like a mother getting tearful over a hand craft item her child made for her, I felt emotions well up in me. I never imagined something like this could happen when we first began. From a hardcore worn out dish rag to sensitive and caring was amazing to witness.
They still had their rough spots and arguments, but this time they were different. It was no longer about threats, break-ups and running away with drugs. Now they worked through things. They managed talking things out.
Not every couple will change from adult film star wanna be’s to prison ministry. I have seen the changes that can happen and do happen. You can make this holiday season the start of a new you and a new marriage if you want. Start with the “30 days to a Better Marriage Program”. It will take you the first few steps into a new place in your relationship.
Best Regards,
Jeff
