In perusing through resource materials, it seems that a majority of the sites available take the approach that the husband had the affair. In terms of statistics, there are more cases where the men have affairs than the women. What is unsettling about that is that most sites automatically assume that it is the husband who wandered off. This is a dangerous assumption. Wives also wander off from the marriage, and to assume otherwise is dangerous. These kind of assumptions, create an atmosphere where men-hating develops. Men-hating is not conducive to repairing the marriage (neither is woman-hating, known as misogyny). Although some man-hating and woman hating may be part of the root factors contributing to the affair, creating an environment where such attitudes develop is dangerous. Hating is not conducive to healing. I recognize that in the aftermath of an affair, there is anger , hurt and a desire for revenge, but it will be important not to give place to hatred, of husbands or of wives. Sadly many affair support sites have become a modern day anti-type of Spanky’s clubhouse. Instead of the “He-man Woman haters club”, the modern version is the “Beautiful Woman Man haters club” often posted on the chat rooms where this new package of old hatred occurs.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
