You’ve heard the old expression, “let sleeping dogs lie”. When it comes to affair relationships, this old saying is golden. I’d also add, let ‘old dogs lie’ to it as well. Those old dormant relationships are best when left alone.
Take the story of Lynn. Lynn tried her best in luring David from his wife. Since she worked with him, he was a ‘captive audience’. In the office, she used suggestive comments and touches in getting his attention. Between the suggestive comments and perfume that surrounded him on a daily basis, it was only a matter of time.
Once she had his attention, she ‘sealed the deal’ with seductive clothing, booze and a hotel room. She enjoyed her conquest. She aroused him, and getting her man aroused her. It was more about putting another notch in the bedpost for her, than it was love. David was a plaything for her.
David was attractive and Lynn needed a challenge. She knew how to get men to give her attention. David was an easy mark since his wife was worn out taking care of small children. He needed female attention along with having his ego built up. Lynn sensed that David’s needs weren’t being met, he was attractive and she saw her chance.
She knew he had small children at home. She knew he was married. Those things didn’t matter. All that mattered to Lynn was her getting David.
When David’s affair was exposed, he confessed and went back to his wife. The two of them worked on making their marriage better, and David refocused his wandering eyes. David and his wife both thought the affair was far behind him.
That all changed one night in 2016, when Lynn began calling David again. Although their affair was back in 2002, the sound of her voice and incessant calls posed a new threat. The sleeping dog of an old flame was coming back. This time, she was not only calling but sending suggestive and downright nasty pictures of herself.
When you face a situation with someone like Lynn, its’ frustrating. The person you thought was out of your life and marriage, comes back with a vengeance. When the threats come back, how are you and your spouse going to deal with them?
Old lovers often know the triggers to activate. They know what to say and how to say it in a way that gets into your ‘personal space’. This is why I use the phrase ‘It’s not over when it’s over’ when it comes to affairs. There is always that possibility that the Lynn’s of the world try coming back into your life.
In a snake-like manner, they try slithering in any way they can. What this means is that relapse is a risk, even years after the affair. Knowing the early warning signs of relapse in your spouse or yourself can help you stop the Lynns’ before they get too far.
It’s no longer a matter of just blocking numbers and unfriending people. Strong threats need strong interventions. Even though the affair happened 10, 15, or 20 years ago, those old feelings can be triggered by the lover. The old brain engrams and connections are still there. All the lover has to do is flip the switch to re-activate them.
You can do something. Watch the affair relapse webinar and follow the recommendations. This will equip you in dealing with any threat from old flames.
Best Regards,
Jeff
