In my daily reading, I came across an interesting and thought-provoking principle. I found myself reading it several times. Each time, I read it, I saw more and more examples illustrating the truth of it, especially concerning affairs.
After reading the principle, it became clear how cheaters find opportunities for cheating everywhere they go. In hotels, offices, restaurants, job sites and airports, opportunities just ‘pop up’. Although there is talk of an affair happening by chance, with some cheaters, it seems that their whole world is filled with chances.
Although I’ve pondered the question of chance and opportunities with cheaters, a clear answer to such situations often evaded me. The principle put all of those situations in a new spotlight of illumination.
The principle is “If one wishes to do wrong, opportunities are afforded him“.
In previous writing, I quoted a Southern Baptist preacher who often stated “It happens in the head before it happens in the bed”. The decision to cheat is made before the cheating ever happens or opportunities occur.
They try making you believe that the opportunity came first.
They may actually believe this, yet the fact remains that the choice ‘to cheat’ comes first. All the talk about ‘It just happened’ is smoke and mirrors.
The cheater may tell you that it was an accident, or “I didn’t mean to…” or some other excuse. Those excuses divert your attention from them making a choice BEFORE anything happened.
Once the mind makes a choice, it starts looking for ways to make what they imagined to happen.
Once the cheater chooses to do wrong, they find the opportunities. They not only find them, at times they make those opportunities happen.
This is critical to understand in stopping and preventing affairs. As long as they still wish to do wrong, and have fantasies of affairs, you’ve got problems.
This is why I address such fantasies in my newest video, “How To Rekindle Closeness And Bring Back Intimacy In Your Marriage”. Until you deal with the wish to do wrong and the fantasies associated with it, you’ve still got relationship problems.
Best RegardsKeeping It Real,
Jeff
3 Responses
Here is my observation. For 20 years, my spouse would avoid external flirtatious people. Cut them off etc…. once she made the decision to be free and independent, she started accepting these advances. I have found 10 plus individuals she was exchanging flirtatious to down right inappropriate messages. And after a while, one or more got through the open door. Once a person starts acting independently and give the appearance of unhappy married person, people will take advantage of the situation and at some point will get the prize! I know the point she made herself appear available, I’m not sure at what point she made the decision to go all the way. Temptation is all around us and it is a choice to allow it in to your life.
David,
Your observations are spot on. On reading your post, I was reminded of the Gary Puckett song, Woman, Woman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nNXi66N2oc which addressing what you call ‘acting independently’. The song poses the question “Have you got cheating on your mind?” When that open door is announced, it doesn’t take trouble long to find it.
Honestly I was astounded by the quantity of trouble! How quickly things change just by an attitude change. How quickly the wolves pounce on opportunity. I can see how the process could draw one in. The complements, the you deserve happiness, you deserve betters! Code for I’m trying to get you in bed! At no point will I excuse bad behaviors, but I can see how one could fall for this and start to believe it. Forgetting it’s just a play by a bunch of guys saying whatever it takes to get what they want.