One of the common tactics of the police shows on television is threatening people who knew about a crime with conspiracy, even when they were not part of the crime itself. Seeing such ploys reminds me of when I served on a federal jury where a similar case came up.
The strategy of the prosecutors consisted of pressuring the low level folks to give up the bigger fish. In pressuring the small fish, they cast a wide net and tried accusing them of any crime they could think of. A big part of their strategy relied on proving there was a conspiracy.
Although the press often makes light of conspiracies, they do happen, as you have seen with the affair. It is often astounding when you discover how many people knew about the affair and said nothing to you. In some cases, the conspirators not only hid the affair, they often encouraged it as well.
When those conspirators are family members or those you thought were close friends, you feel betrayed. With large scale betrayal, you start feeling paranoid. When you’re dealing with a conspiracy, it’s not just paranoia. They really are all out to fool you and keep you in the dark.
Conspiracies are when actions speak louder than words. Those involved may say they care about you and that they feel your pain, and that they regret what happened. They may even have excuses like, it was none of their business, or “I don’t want to spread gossip” or “I didn’t want to hurt you”. In such times, their reluctance to say anything amounts to them supporting the affair. Whether intentional or not, it became a ‘conspiracy of silence’.
The conspiracies also amplify feelings of betrayal. At times it may feel that there are more who betrayed you than remained loyal to you. The flood of betrayal can be so strong that you start questioning the loyalty of everyone, and start wondering when they are going to betray you as well.
When you’ve been burned by the conspiracy of silence, trust becomes a struggle. Trust is no longer something that’s ‘just there’, now you have to have proof and second guess everything. Others will tell you that you need to forgive or you need to trust again. That sounds well and good, but “How?” How can you trust anyone again?
With the ‘Trust Formula’ presented in “How Can I Trust You Again?” you can know what specific steps are needed in making that happen. Rebuilding trust is NOT about a leap of faith. There are specific tasks and steps involved. You can trust again. Your trust can also be based on a solid foundation rather than ‘touchy-feely’ hopes and dreams.
The trust formula makes building trust on a solid foundation possible and achievable.
Best Regards,
Jeff
