Before it gets too late, I wanted to let you know that I shared an article with the support community at Restored Lifestyle on “Handling interventions with your spouse”. It was entitled “Bringing your spouse and marriage back to reality“.
Prior to this, the last time I addressed this topic was back in 2014. Back then it was part of a collaborative Affair Recovery program I helped with.
Interventions are often needed in changing the direction of your marriage. They are powerful tools for changing your relationship.
Like all powerful tools, they bring added force to parts of your marriage. The force goes go where you direct it to.
With interventions, skill is more important than more power. The Tim “the Toolman” Taylor approach from Home Improvement of using more power doesn’t work here.
Too much power pushes people away. Too little power makes intervention ineffective.
Applying force in the wrong place breaks things around your home. It can also damage your marriage.
This means knowing where to apply that force is important. When I used to work alongside my father at his rent houses, he talked about ‘putting the hurt‘ on things when he applied additional force.
Putting additional force on your marriage with an intervention means ‘putting the hurt on it’. Knowing the right place to put the hurt makes a huge difference.
The hurt is not about revenge, but rather shifting the hurt from you to them. It’s about making them uncomfortable.
Keep in mind that it’s only when people are in a bind or ‘hurting’ that they change directions.
This is why I addressed the topic of handling interventions, so that you have some instructions on bringing your spouse and your marriage back to reality.
Doing interventions puts the hurt on the cheater, it also puts the hurt on you as well. It’s unusual for them to be changed without impacting you as well.
This is the kind of information you’re missing out on by not being a member of the support community at ‘Restored Lifestyle’. Membership gives you access to articles like this and more.
Best Regards,
Jeff
