In a recent interview I did on “Java with Jeff” at Restored Lifestyle, the topic of forgiveness came up. One of the points brought up was the question “How far should I go in forgiving after an affair?”
The question started me thinking in terms of the limits of forgiveness. Although it can turn into an uncomfortable topic, there are limits to forgiveness.
There are limits as to how far you are willing to forgive and how much you can let go of. There are limits to how many times you’re willing to forgive. Not only are there limits, pushing beyond them stretches in ways you never imagined.
The reason I bring this up is that it helps when you have a clear idea of the limits of your forgiveness. It’s not that you’re expecting the worst, you just have an awareness of what your limitations are.
One of the things I’ve discovered while working with couples concerning affairs, is that ‘the limit’ varies widely. Even those of you who don’t know what your limit is, you know when things have gone beyond it.
Knowing the limitations of your forgiveness brings reality into the affair situation. Rather than approaching the affair with the romanticism of rose colored glasses where the sky is the limit, this question forces you to ‘get real.’
Although it sounds nice saying you can forgive anything, the truth is that there are some situations that are beyond the limits of your ability to forgive. It’s also stunning to believe how few people know how to forgive.
You can learn how to do it and where to begin. Rather than fumbling and stumbling, you can approach the situation with confidence.
You will benefit from the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the walls and Remove the Roadblocks”. In it you’ll learn the how of forgiveness, and what to look for in a repentant spouse.
You can know where to start and where forgiveness starts. Order your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
