A reader wrote me stating “A “home wrecker” cannot tempt a person who does not want to cheat. It’s the people who say the actual vows who have the responsibility of keeping them. ”
On reading through her comment, I recognize there’s a lot of truth contained in what she wrote. Each spouse has the responsibility of keeping their vows.
Communities and neighborhoods would run smoothly is everyone fulfilled their responsibilities. Things like broken down cars in driveways and tall unsightly grass would be a thing of the past.
Responsibility is a wonderful thing, when everyone fulfills theirs. Responsibility also requires maturity and commitment, which are hard to find these days.
I wrote back to her, “I agree that the spouses are the responsible parties. I wish they always acted responsibly. I also know that some home wreckers are determined. They look for weak moments and opportunities. I often refer to them as ‘poachers’ given how they operate.”
The reader was also right about “home wreckers” not tempting a person who doesn’t want to cheat. Sadly, some spouses entertain fantasies of cheating.
Their fantasizing creates a weak spot in the protections surrounding your marriage. Although some spouses may never act on their fantasies, some do.
When the home wrecker presents their temptations, while your spouse is having a weak moment, it’s only a matter of time before will power collapses. It’s not that they didn’t mean what they said in their wedding vows, their commitment wasn’t there.
Commitment can be promised, yet you only know the strength of it when it’s tested. The problem is that the kind of testing involved with affairs is not recommended for viewers at home.
Affairs bring a two-stage challenge to commitment. The first concerns temptation, the second regards healing.
Scripture poses the metaphorical question “Can a man take fire in his bosom and not be burned?” This question concerns dealing with temptations. Temptations are not the preferred way of testing commitment.
When there’s a breach in commitment, the question arises, “What are you going to do about it?” This is where both of you face the question of commitment again.
This is where the membership site, Restored Lifestyle can help. There you can gain the knowledge you need along with talking through your concerns with others.
Affairs test your relationship commitment in many ways.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
