Looking into the history of idioms is enlightening. When you see how the old sayings or idioms began it gives you some new insights. It also ads some depth to your communication.
One worth noting is the expression “get her hooks into you“. Although this particular idiom first came into use in 1926, it captures a common phenomena.
Even in the book of Ecclesiastes, there is mention of a woman whose heart is full of snares, and nets. The description goes on in describing her hands as bands like you would find with chains.
The imagery of hooks, nets and traps send a message of warning to the unwary. Some relationships will capture you and not let you go.
It’s my contention that what old timers refer to as hooks, nets and traps, modern thinkers refer to as ‘trauma bonds‘. Although the name has changed the idea of being held by someone in a relationship remains.
Some relationships won’t let go of you. This also applies to affairs. Whether you are the stalker whose mind is filled with obsessions about someone or you are the stalkee, who is the object of obsession, the whole experience is nightmarish.
Those trauma bonds that come with affairs hold you even when you want to leave. They intrude into your mind when you don’t want to think about them.
Even though you don’t see the bonds, you know how powerful they are. You feel the pull of them on a daily basis.
Even when an affair is called off, you still have to work through the trauma bonds that came with it. The problem with the bonds is that they have a way of making you feel helpless and powerless. They can even be so strong as to make you feel like you can’t say anything.
If you need help in breaking the trauma bonds in your life, consider joining the Restored Lifestyle site. There you’ll find videos on Affair Trauma and Help for the cheater in closing the affair.
Those bonds don’t have to keep haunting you like something out of a Charles Dicken’s novel. There are things you can do to start breaking their power today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
