https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmvYlJb2-bc
Back in the late 70’s a song came out entitled “Torn Between Two Lovers” performed by Mary MacGregor. Although there have been remakes of the song since then, it’s the original version that I remember.
Although I never liked the song, it has stuck with me over the years. Part of what makes it so memorable was how a friend of mind had his own rendition of the song.
He often went around singing “Torn between 200 lovers“. Although he changed the wording for fun, it carried an element of truth for him. His charming ways made it a theme song for him.
He literally had a line of women interested in him. For him, the song was a statement of fact.
When songs are timeless or jokes really funny, it’s because they contain a kernal of truth. They have enough truth in them to resonate inside you.
That old song now takes on some new shades of truth as I continue working with recovery from affairs. Many cheaters are torn between lovers.
They’re caught in the orbits of each relationship they are part of. Each of them has managed laying claim to parts of the cheater’s heart.
When you are ‘torn’ between them, the real issue is that you want both. When you refuse ending one of the relationships, you’ve voted for keeping them both.
The problem with keeping them both is that it keeps you stuck. Keeping them both keep you from moving ahead with your relationships.
Sure, you can keep the relationship rocking, but it limits how deep they can go. It puts limits on the amount of intimacy and growth that can occur.
In some cases, it’s more than two. I was struck by an article addressing large numbers of lovers. The article was entitled, “I’ve had sex with over 100 men, but that does not define me as a slut”. It talks about each person’s ‘number’ as in the number of those they’ve slept with.
The mindset reflected shows me that there are people who wouldn’t know a slut if they met one and also that the numbers are more astounding than you imagined.
There really are people out there living out the passage in Proverbs 30:20 that says, “Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.” They don’t see anything wrong with their sexual activity.
If you are one of those struggling with being torn between lovers, or not recognizing the problem, you’ll benefit from “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery”. It guides you through the challenges of making the necessary changes needed in healing your marriage relationship.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
