Back when I began Restore The Family in Shoreacres, Texas, I never imagined viewing marriage as an institution between one man and one woman would viewed as an act worthy of a special ‘hate crimes’ unit investigation. At that time I firmly believe that helping marriages and families overcome problems was a good thing.
So when I read about the Attorney General of Michigan having a special ‘hate crimes’ unit investigate and harass a group that firmly held to traditional views of marriage, it concerned me. I never considered ‘traditional marriage’ a threat to anyone.
I also knew that healthy marriages are the keystone of restoring families. Helping couples restore health to their marriage relationships means helping them overcome the obstacles to their marriage.
Healthy marriages make for more stable communities and society. It also preserves the culture.
One of the big obstacles to healthy marriages is the threat of affairs. Bringing in third parties to your marriage creates instability to your marriage.
Those threats to your marriage are in your neighborhood, church, school and local community. The hopeful news is that you can reduce the threat.
Although the mantra “the more the merrier” is often heard, it doesn’t apply to marriages. Marriage works best when the two of you are committed to each other. Coming up with new variations of marriage or new combinations hasn’t proven itself.
The one man-one woman model still works better than any kind of shared bonding with third parties even though some view those have traditional views of marriage as a threat to society.
When third parties are brought in, there are other issues that come with them. Issues of loyalty, trust, fidelity, and commitment are each challenged when the special relationship of marriage is tinkered with by adding an affair to the mix.
Affairs damage the stability of your marriage. It creates an atmosphere filled with fear and insecurity. It plants self-doubt.
Affairs leave you wondering if you’re sexy enough, thin enough or have enough love for your own spouse.
That kind of self-doubt will have you second guessing yourself instead of having confidence in what you do and what you decide. When your home is unstable, your world is unstable as well.
With adding another person, you add emotional turmoil. You also bring insecurity into your life and your family. If anything, I see modern values as more a threat to your marriage than your marriage being a threat to others.
When an affair happens, it doesn’t have to be the end of your marriage. There are things you can do.
A place to start is with the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”. It guides you through those initial days of uncertainty and unsound thinking. It helps you start finding your way when you don’t have the energy to get out of bed.
Order your copy of the video today and start taking steps to strengthen your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
