With affairs, the desire for revenge is a natural reaction. Someone stole affections from your spouse that belong to you.
Someone encroached on the boundaries of your marriage and violated the special relationship you had with your spouse. When such a violation happens, the natural reaction is a desire for revenge.
Even though the mainstream media has worked overtime in ‘normalizing’ infidelity and sleeping around, the reality is that it remains an encroachment into your life.
Wanting revenge for such a travesty is a normal response to encroachments.
When you’ve been hurt like that, you want to hurt back. If for nothing else than letting them know how you feel. In that case, revenge is about communicating what you’ve experienced. You want them to know you’re hurting by having them feel some of what you’re feeling.
So when a reader looked for “How to get revenge on friend who had long term affair with my husband” I wanted to validate her feelings. Although her reaction is natural, I don’t give direction on methods of revenge.
Nothing is wrong with you for wanting revenge for such a betrayal, even though talking heads in the media or social change agents try putting guilt trips on you for your reaction.
This one is specially onerous since it’s a long term affair, it involves your husband and your best friend. It has betrayals on multiple levels.
Being left stewing in those feelings is a miserable experience. What you can do is learn from it.
How you deal with those desires for revenge matters. The desire for revenge is powerful.
Consider redirecting those energies. You can point them in the direction of destruction or use them in giving motivation for healing your marriage.
Harnessing those energies for healing is my recommendation. The time you invest in healing relationships is never wasted.
In my downloadable ‘Affair Recovery Workshop’, you’ll find the tools, tricks, and techniques needed in changing your marriage and the direction things are headed. Healing your marriage gives you hope, while revenge removes hope.
Think about your choices and how you deal with your passions.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
