In the previous post on this topic, the reprogramming of the cheater’s memory was explained. That post also addressed how the lover often influences the reprogramming.
Although the cheater starts a reprogramming of their memory, there are ‘back doors’ which you can exploit to your advantage. No matter how much reprogramming they have done, the bonding that occurred between you and them remains in their memory.
That can never be over written or reprogrammed. The challenge is accessing those memory files.
Since memory is often driven more by sounds and images, you’ll want to use these to your advantage. That means sending cards with images that have meanings for the two of you.
It may mean utilizing music that the two of you enjoyed to your advantage. Although the cheater may have told themselves ‘new meanings’ for what happened in the past, the old memories are actually there.
If you had a stormy relationship with the cheater, there may not be many positive memories to work with.
Your ability to activate those old programs depends largely on the quality of relationship you had with the cheater prior to the affair. If you were a loving, understanding spouse prior to the affair, you have more to work with than if the relationship had been a dysfunctional or demanding one.
Dealing with the cheater’s memory is a when ‘the chickens come home to roost’ phenomena. If your history with the cheater is filled with fights, high drama and arguments, their memory may work against you.
If the relationship was good, there is more hope of activating the old memories.
Besides sound and images, you can also utilize sensation in connecting with old memories. There are times when a gentle touch can bring memories back.
Making contact with your spouse in old familiar ways is another way of accessing or activating the old memory files. If the only time you ever touched them was initiating sex, then touching may not be an option that you want to utilize.
If there were times that you touched or made contact with them as a way of showing reassurance or that you care, you have more to work with.
In the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop“, I show you other ways of using brain function in helping you with recovery. There are methods and techniques you can use to your advantage during affair recovery.
Rather than wondering what to do, you can know what to do and how to do it. You can put the power of brain science to work for you in recovering from an affair.
Best Regards,
Jeff
