Perhaps there’s truth to the saying, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. When I visited there, I saw strange things that had my head filled with questions of “How can that be?”.
One event was encountering a group of four middle aged women. Like the thing #1 and thing #2 characters in the Dr. Seuss book, “The Cat in the Hat”, their shirts were emblazoned with “Bitch #1, Bitch #2, Bitch #3 and Bitch #4”.
The shirts even used the same font as The Cat in the Hat characters. I suppose their shirts were doing what they were intended to do. They certainly grabbed the attention of others walking the strip.
The shirt and labeling grabbed my attention to the degree that I don’t recall any details about their attractiveness.
If my visit to Vegas had been for fun and games, I may have viewed it differently. It was shortly after attending a conference session on trauma and negative self-labels.
Stepping out of a conference where I heard presentations on how victims of trauma hurt themselves in various ways, including name calling, cutting and negative tattoos, encountering this groups was an ‘unreal’ moment for me.
I wondered what would make those women want to demean themselves like that. My grandmother drilled into me the saying “Pretty is as pretty does” which emphasized self-respect.
As some spouses, like you, struggle with negative views of who you are, these women were wearing the title of ‘bitch’ for their own giggles. I suppose they aren’t aware that names and labels have power.
I also wondered what happens when someone starts believing what’s on their shirts? What happens when others start viewing them and treating them as a ‘bitch?’
How you dress sends messages to others about how you want them to treat you. I wonder if they considered that?
I started wondering how parading around with the label of bitch impacts them. Some of you may be carrying labels from what happened to you as well.
Although they can take off their shirts and the label is gone, when you’ve been traumatized, the label doesn’t change so easily. With trauma, the label stays long after the trauma is over.
In the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma”, I share with you ways of starting your journey in moving past the trauma of the affair and removing the labels in your head. Since affair trauma has a way of triggering other traumas, it’s common that old scars come up with the affair.
The video guides you in putting those old events to rest as well. As you learn ways of calming your body down, you’ll gain more self-control. You’ll move past the labels in your life that came with the trauma.
Although what happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, trauma scars follow you everywhere you go.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
