Do you cross the street or walk out in traffic as if there were no dangers? At this point in your life, you know there are dangers and you take the appropriate precautions.
Running out into the street isn’t smart or safe. Even if you haven’t experienced being hit by a car or had close calls, you know the dangers. It’s knowing the dangers that make you exercise caution. Acting like there’s no danger is when you get into trouble.
In a similar way, you’ve likely encountered some affair recovery sites and experts from the ‘forgive and forget’ approach to cheating. They believe it’s in your best interest to forget the affair after it’s been forgiven.
They believe that you can go on in your relationship as if nothing happened after you forgive your cheating spouse. I don’t believe the cheating can be or should be forgotten.
When it comes to affairs, I see the ‘forgive and forget’ crowd as leading you astray. Although I strongly endorse forgiveness, the part about forgetting is counter-productive. When you forget the affair, you leave yourself vulnerable to being hurt again and the same patterns happening again.
Your marriage can move past the affair, but I believe you need some remembrance of the pain and damage done by the matter. Acting like it didn’t happen puts the both of you in an unrealistic La-La land existence.
When you remember the affair, you are cautious about high-risk situations. When you remember the affair you and your spouse think about consequences before making stupid or evil choices.
It’s only when you consider the pain it brought that you recognize that affairs aren’t worth it. Think about remembering the affairs regarding the dangers of not looking both ways before crossing the street.
You consider the dangers and exercise appropriate caution. That’s why I think you shouldn’t forget the affair.
Forgiving allows you to put the pain behind you, which is a good thing. Although the pain is behind, you continue needing caution and being alert to affair dangers.
Do you want to stop the pain and tear down the walls that are holding you back?
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, but it’s not always easy. It can be difficult to know how or when to ask for forgiveness. This video training will guide you through what forgiveness is, how to forgive, how to tell real repentance versus going through the motions, ways of asking for forgiveness and more. You’ll also learn about some of the most common roadblocks people face when trying to forgive others or themselves.
The goal of this video training is simple – help you find peace in your life by forgiving those who have wronged you and yourself if necessary so that we can all live with less stress and more joy! Let go of anger, resentment, bitterness and other negative feelings that hold us back from living our best lives possible today!
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Keeping It Real,
Jeff
