On occasion, I receive snarky email responses. A recent one was “This is ridiculous to pay for advice. I am sorry but if you are that desperate to make money you need another profession.” I wasn’t sure how to be ‘ ridiculous’, so I looked it up in the dictionary of autocorrect.
It said something about being in a hurry to spout off without considering your words or their spelling. It struck me as ironic with the ‘Freudian slip’ aspect of her word error simultaneously conveying a termination (ric) and a falling back (recede) in a relationship. (Is this another case of ‘out of the heart the mouth doth speak?)
Besides that, I thought about what this woman said, and determined “She deserves a response.”
Investments in your relationships, especially your marriage always pays dividends. You pay for counsel in banking, investing, legal matters, and business consulting. It’s only logical that when you consider the most important relationship in your life, you’re willing to invest in the best advice available.
There are many ‘ free’ or low-cost resources to help you in your marriage. But, as with anything else in life, if you want the best, you have to be willing to pay for it. A good marriage counselor is worth their weight in gold. They can help you navigate through rough waters, and give you the tools you need for improving your marriage.
Think about it. Would you rather pay for the counsel of the nearest therapist in town who occasionally deals with an affair besides the one they had or an international expert who spent years dealing with affairs?
A lesson I learned from my wife is that it pays to learn from the best. Over the years, this has been proven to me time and time again. When I attend workshops, seminars, or need business help, I seek out the best, most knowledgeable people for relationship information. dealing with addictions and brain functioning. Those times I cut corners and went with cut-rate people, I ended up with inferior lackluster information.
The adage, you get what you pay for is true on many levels. When it comes to relationships, many people want to get by with ‘no-cost help’ they hope turns their lives around, rather than investing in advice that generates positive foundational improvements in their relationship. Perhaps this lady just wants to ‘get by’ rather than really find healing for her marriage.
The desperation I experience is this. I don’t want you or anyone else to continue suffering. I know what’s at stake and how an affair is a life-changing event for you. For some of you, it’s a matter of life and death. Affairs trigger some passionate responses, whether it be revenge, suicidal thoughts or insane jealousy. Just read the paper and you’ll see how serious the situation is. You may even be one of those desperate for answers.
The good news is, there are solutions. Your marriage can change. An affair does not have to mean the end of your marriage.
You don’t have to stay in that state of desperation where your marriage hangs on a thread each day. You don’t have to continue wondering if your marriage can survive the affair. You don’t have to be at wit’s end wondering what to do.
The Affair Recovery Workshop is where I’ve collected the best of ‘what works’ from the best in the counseling field, neuroscience, how addictions work including interventions, brain hacks, and relationship hacks packaged in a unique sequence designed for helping you through the affair with a minimal amount of conflict and maximum results.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
