One of the downsides of living in the age of the internet is the desire for instant answers. Although the internet gives you access to mountains of data, it’s still up to you to go through it and make sense of it.
Even with artificial intelligence, you still have to connect the dots and go through the data in order to make sense of it. It requires effort in transforming data into useful information. I know from researching affairs that connections between affairs and the murder or attempted murder of a spouse exists.
What is not clear is how strong the connection is. Factors like age and race change the strength of the connection between the two. With some work going through the data, I start making sense of it.
When it comes to affairs, some readers want instant answers to their concerns. One reader wanted to know what the relationship is between abuse and affairs in males.
I can tell you that in the dictionary that abuse comes before affairs. I know from some of my work that some of the men having affairs experienced abuse. I also know that some betrayed males have also experienced abuse as well.
Although some relationship exists, the strength of it and which leads to the other isn’t clear with the data available. Affairs continue to remain a sensitive topic that is not talked about openly and frankly. The data also shows that women are killed by intimate partners more often than by strangers. Unfortunately, the data is not clear on how many of those were affair partners or unfaithful spouses. The danger is there, yet the seriousness of the danger is vague.
Unless there is more public discussion around affairs, the connection between abuse and affairs may remain vague and undefined. We still have a lot more work to do in order to understand how factors like age and race influence the strength of this connection.
There’s also the factors of how you define an affair, length of marriage and degree of abuse experienced. When a man uses an affair as a way of self-medicating his abuse, it’s only a temporary solution. The affair won’t erase the abuse or the effects of abuse.
Whatever relief the affair brings to the abuse, it’s treating the symptom rather than the root problem. Focusing on symptoms keeps you locked into unhealthy coping patterns.
The answer to the abuse is dealing with the trauma reactions behind it. A place to start is with my video “Overcoming Affair Trauma”. Although the focus is on affairs, the techniques work with other types of trauma as well.
You don’t have to continue hiding the abuse or its impact on your life. Instead, once you download the video, you can start recovering from what happened. You can start building up resilience and manage your emotional swings rather than them mastering you and tormenting your thinking.
Order your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
