Hank Williams Junior sings songs about rowdy friends and trashy women. I think he mislabeled things. He should have sung about trashy friends and rowdy women. Had he sung such a song, it would have alerted the world to the dangers of trashy friends.
One of the hurdles that trip some of you during affair recovery is dealing with trashy friends. The trashy friends I’m referring to are when your spouse is surrounding themselves with trashy friends.
Although it sounds terrible to refer to some people as trashy, the truth is they exist. I’m not talking in terms of their housekeeping, but instead, their moral values. They may cheat on their spouse, use drugs, or gossip about others.
When your spouse is hanging out with these types of people, it can be a major red flag. It’s important to have healthy relationships and friendships. If your spouse is constantly surrounding themselves with trashy friends, it could be a sign that they’re not happy in their relationship with you or have a low estimation of themself.
Like it or not, trashy friends are corrupting. Your spouse may claim they’re good people and downplay their trashy qualities. Typically when you say something, your spouse defends them based on how they are ‘good’ friends or ‘loyal’. When they care more about the opinions and approval of their friends than you, their values have been corrupted.
Trashy friends amount to a terroristic threat in your own backyard. They may be neighbors, work associates or programs on television.
After someone’s been exposed to enough images of affairs or talk of affairs, it starts wearing someone down. Your spouse may be strong, but when exposed to bad influences, they can be corrupted. Let’s face it, single friends have different values than marriage friends.
Removing the danger is something you should have done before the affair and must do something about after the affair. This is a vital part of affair relapse prevention.
Trashy friends fire up the parts of your spouse’s brain involved with the affair. When it happens enough time in your head, it starts working on their thinking.
Who your spouse spends their time with influences them, whether they admit it or not. It’s not that the friend caused the cheating. They made the choice to cheat.
When your spouse is teetering in their choices, trashy friends are cheerleaders for cheating. They encourage selfishness and giving into their desires. Removing their influence reduces the risk of affair relapse dramatically.
In the video, “Overcoming Affair Relapse”, I share other interventions and strategies designed for helping reduce the danger of another affair happening.
Click and download your copy. In minutes, you’ll gain insight that saves you time and heartache.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
