No-win situations are problematic. When each of your options has drawbacks you are put into a situation where there are no good choices.
One area where this shows up is the dilemma of putting up with the cheater or living apart from them. Each option has drawbacks associated with it. I also realize each of your situations is unique.
Let me start by saying that safety concerns are a trump card. When faced with this kind of dilemma, if there’s a life-threatening situation, make safety a priority.
Barring life-threatening situations, if you have sons consider the long-term impact of being raised in a fatherless home. Although your home may be the exception, an increasing number of studies continue showing a correlation of many social problems with divorced fathers living apart.
The social problems include juvenile delinquency, self-image issues, and other longer-term problems. These problems are higher in fatherless homes. Although opinion shapers try to distract you from these realities, it does not erase them. These are serious matters.
I can’t make choices for you, I can tell you that there are long-term issues needing your attention as part of your decision-making. Issues like these are whitewashed in the media, where they’re either ignored or downplayed. They are real, though, and deserve your consideration.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution in these situations.
If you face the dilemma of no-win choices in whether to stay with the cheater or live apart from them, the price tag of a fatherless home is a serious matter. Although it’s hard considering the impact of the affair on others besides yourself, the effects are wide and long-term.
Your choices in how you deal with the affair also have a wide and long-term impact. Before making a choice that impacts future generations, it’s worth considering working things out with the cheater rather than giving up.
In the Affair Recovery Workshop, I cover the important issues needing attention in working through things. Issues like communication, problem-solving, unrealistic expectations, along with ways of breaking unhealthy patterns and changing things for the better.
Click and download your copy of the Workshop today. Working through the unpleasant and upsetting issues will take you to a different place than fatherless homes, courtroom drama and handling crises alone or with little support.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
