Why Do Affairs End Without Warning?

The question was posed “Why do affairs end abruptly?” Although some affairs end abruptly, not all do. Some long-term affairs continue for years. When an affair ends abruptly there may be various reasons for the ending.

One explanation is that one party was getting too close to the other. Affairs have a way of creating attachments. Those attachments vary from relationship to relationship. There are dangers at each extreme. Some AP’s only want the fun and games. For them, when the relationship grows serious or there is talk of commitments they leave. For whatever reason, commitment scares them more than ending the relationship.

Other AP’s leave the relationship abruptly when the relationship becomes boring to them. Boredom is often a factor in starting affairs as well as ending them.

With any affair, there is always the risk of a spouse finding out and the affair is forced to end abruptly. When the risk is too high, they end the relationship. Given the passions that are aroused with an affair, there is a risk the passions will turn violent. The risk of violence with an affair is high, whether it be from the AP, the betrayed spouse or a protective family member. All you have to do is read the local news reports regarding crimes of passion to educate you on this matter.

I know my position is that they are best ended in most cases with a cold turkey approach, which means quickly and abruptly.

One of the dangers of any affair is that you are hooking up with someone who has emotional or relationship issues. When a relationship starts off as an affair it begins on an unhealthy foundation. When you can easily get into their pants, there is often weak impulse control in other areas as well. With an unhealthy foundation, it is unrealistic to expect the relationship to function like a healthy one. Relationships that begin quickly can also end very quickly as well.

When you discover that the person you are having an affair with is not emotionally or mentally healthy, ending the relationship abruptly may be the only way of saving yourself. The abrupt ending maybe someone’s act of self-preservation.

It takes time for a healthy relationship to develop and grow. Learning how to love and care for each other takes commitment, which is a relationship quality often missing in affairs. Those kinds of relationships also require honesty which may or may not exist in the affair.

The abrupt nature of affairs leaves people hurt. This is where the video Overcoming Affair Trauma helps. It can help you move past the stuck feelings and wounds from the ending of the affair. Download it today.