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As unpleasant as it is, the topic of divorce is often associated with affairs. One of the parties has fantasies of how a 'divorce' will somehow fix things, or settle things. Never mind that if your are the one clammoring for the divorce, you were probably clammoring about the cheaters fantasies, even though you are entertaining your own fantasies regarding the divorce.

The reality is, a divorce leaves you with less legal power than before. You will have less say so over your children than you had in the marriage. The courts will be controlling your life, the lawyers will move as fast as you pay them and you will still be left to deal with the cheater. The only difference is that the ground rules will have changed. You have different legal options for dealing with them.

You will also have to continue dealing with the in-laws and extended family. They do not magically go away just because you are divorced. They have a vested interest in your children as well. The divorce only changes the legal names used.

If you have been one that thinks that life will somehow be daisies and butterflies (or beer and football) once you divorce the cheater, you have fallen for a fantasy. Yes, a divorce will allow you to have another spouse, but in many cases, that is only another member of the tag team in the emotional wrestling match you are having to deal with.

Best Regards,

Jeffrey Murrah