Are you searching for ‘ How to save my marriage after an affair?” My heart goes out to those of you who are doing so. I also know the dangers of looking for those “How to…” solutions.
A few months ago, I traveled to New York City. Prior to traveling there, I wanted a road map of routes that I needed to take in making it through the area to my final destination in Connecticut. The idea of getting lost in New York City was something I dreaded.
Although I wanted my road map to lay out a route, there were many discoveries I encountered. Although my map was correct in the information it gave me, I managed getting lost. The map gave me a bird’s eye view which let me know that such a journey is possible.
One of my discoveries was that I really needed a turn by turn guide with alerts warning me about what lane to be in and when to get in those lanes. A few missed turns and ‘viola’, I was lost in New York City.
That episode taught me some lessons about “How to” solutions in dealing with affairs.
Like those of you looking for the “how to” solutions, you want a simple road map that tells you what to do and where to go. There are plenty of places where you can find such solutions.
Many of the solutions you find will give you a simple bird’s eye view, of what you need to do. They let you know that it’s possible to save your marriage.They may have different routes they prefer, yet each promises results.
One of the major “how to” guys out there even let’s you know it’s possible, even though he doesn’t believe in marriage. I don’t know about you, but when someone who doesn’t believe in marriage tells you its possible, I feel a little confused.
One challenge is that when you’re dealing with your marriage, you’ll need more specifics. Like turn by turn directions, you need details about what to talk about, when to talk about it, and ways of managing conflicts.
You may even be like me and need the heads up concerning what lane you need to be in BEFORE you have to make a big turn. In my case, I like having a heads up on things before they happen.
This is why in my Affair Recovery Workshop, I tell you what you need to be talking about, how to go about it and potential challenges you’ll likely encounter. I also deal with issues like fantasies, potential of addiction and family patterns of affairs, which few others address. I figure that if you’re serious about saving your marriage, you want serious help and not just emotional band aids that only put patches on areas needing serious help.
Getting your “how to” answers for saving your marriage are often easier to obtain than they are to follow. Sometimes the directions are complicated, other times you may not really be willing to follow the how to directions. You wanted the answers, yet are unwilling to follow through on the commitment to the process.
When it comes to repairing marriages, especially after an affair, there is no room for partial commitments. You’re either all in or not in. The rewards often reflect the required effort.
Best Regards,
Jeff
