Over the Christmas holidays, my family and I took off for a few days to the coast. During that time, I made some observations about phones and relationships.
In many restaurants, I saw couple after couple spend more time on their phones than they spent talking with each other. It was after one of those episodes I received a short, succinct email stating "It wasn't really an affair. Just she spends more time on the phone."
Talk about timing! I'd recently seen this kind of problem going on around me.
I wrote him back regarding the phone issue. Part of my response is below.
"Although your wife isn't having an affair and just spends more time on her phone than talking to you, it's a sign you don't want to ignore. When she gives more attention to others than to you, that is a flashing warning sign.
Marriage vows include 'forsaking all others' as part of their commitment to you.
Making others a priority over you is a concern when it becomes a pattern.
Since I deal with affairs, when I see the warning signs, like wrong priorities and putting others ahead of their spouse, I see the potential dangers ahead.
The phone problem is wide spread. When you spend more time on your phone than talking to your spouse, there will be consequences.
Marriages need one on one time with each other. That time provides nourishment for intimacy and the health of your marriage.
When your marriage doesn't have enough time for each other, there are consequences. At a minimum, an emotionally malnourished marriage isn't much fun.
You married your spouse, not their phone or your phone. If your marriage is being stressed out by phone issues, you may want to consider the "30 Days to a Better Marriage Program".
The program is a 30 day intensive focused on improving the health of your marriage. If your marriage is emotionally malnourished, the 30 Day program can help prevent further problems.