Have you considered how walls are built? In dealing with affairs, the wall often starts with the injured party telling themselves that “there is no way that he/she can ever make things better”. Telling oneself a statement such as this is the foundation of a wall being built. Once the foundation is laid, each offense, whether real or perceived adds another layer to the wall. The wall may have been built prior to the affair or after the affair. if you are the one with the wall, you may want to consider when your wall went up.
Besides the foundation work, walls need structure to keep them up. This structure consists of the resentments that continue being piled on incident after incident. After a period of time it may become easier to take offense and add to your resentments than it is to work things out. Walls do provide protection, which will allow you to exist after the affair, but it does little to help you live or enjoy life after the affair. Is the wall really worth it? It takes a great deal of emotional mental and physical stamina to maintain a wall. Given all the stamina you are exerting to maintain the wall-is it worth the effort? Most often, it is not worth the effort. Whether you are going to work through things or break things off, the wall serves as an obstacle that makes whichever choice more difficult than it needed to have been.
Best Regards in your recovery,
Jeff Murrah
