Since you are reading this, it is likely that you are looking for ways to survive an affair. What does it mean to survive? The word itself is a combination of sur+vive. These words have French roots meaning sur (on) and vive (life). The word literally means to “get on with life”.
What does it mean to “get on with life”? To me it does not mean to simply exist after the trauma of an affair. Merely existing does not convey living to me. A person can be in an emotional coma and still be in existence. To me, living is about becoming part of life again. The ability to reconnect and enjoy life, not merely endure its hardships. Given the nature of traumas, it seems like the world stops when the bad thing happened. That stopping freezes one emotionally, spiritually and mentally to that traumatizing moment. The victim often replays what occurred. In replaying the events over in their mind, they are often hoping that it turns out different somehow. They keep doing what they have repeatedly done, yet expect a change to have occurred. Is that irrational? Yes. Even though it is irrational, we do it. Since the trauma involves emotion, the victim is not thinking in a rational manner. Like a fairy tale, they hope in a miracle, or some kind of magic event that will alter their situation. Although the fairy tale may be entertaining, holding onto it is not living.
In order to live, one has to let go of those things that are killing oneself either physically, emotionally or spiritually.
In order to live, one has to connect with life.
In order to live, one has to give oneself permission to let go.
Resentments are a drain on your soul. If you want to live, you will have to let go of them.
To Life!
Jeff Murrah
