If you have been following the blog, the issue of the intimacy dance is what has been addressed. In changing the steps or patterns of the dance, there are several things that you can do to intentionally change things.
1. Change the tempo-You can change how fast or how slow things happen. If the interaction between you and your spouse happens too quickly or too slow, you can change the tempo of the interactions.
2. Change the direction. If you do not like the direction that things are going, you can change it. This change can be done either in an active mode or passive mode. Much like with a dance move, even though your partner may initiate a move in a particular direction, you can assist the steering toward or away from a particular direction. In changing direction, you will want to make sure your focus in on the direction you wish to go. Whatever we focus on, we tend to gravitate toward.
3. Change the sequence. With any behavior pattern, there is always a sequence. By changing the order in which things happen, it changes the outcome.
These are three ways you can begin changing the intimacy dance. There are more ways to change it, although for simplicity sake, I kept the selection to three. This way you have some variety in choices without feeling overwhelmed.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
