For the final aspect of denial, the topic of associations is addressed. This area is often ignored and overlooked in overcoming the affair and its emotional scars. This area concerns the connections you make in your thinking between the affair and other experiences you have gone through. Many times those previous experiences and the affair develop a painful reciprocity. This association makes it difficult to separate the affair from the bleed over from other painful experiences in your life.
Denial of the associations you have. There is also a denial of the associations you have with the affair. The sensations of the affair triggered reactions based on experiences you had in your past. Some of the pain associated with affairs involves the associations we have with our own experiences. The situation may remind you past pains, hurts and people in your life. You may need to remind yourself that your spouse is your spouse, they are not your uncle or stepmother. If images of past events or people arise, there is a likelihood of bleed over from past experiences. It will be important to separate those past associations from the present events.
Understanding this form of denial will allow you to defuse and disconnect the affair from the other painful episodes in your life. This will help facilitate the emotional healing.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
