The affair has come and gone and you and your spouse are recovering from its effects. Any major change in our lives requires time to adjust to it. As human beings, we are blessed (or maybe cursed) with memories. Some people are better at remembering than others. Memories may be good or bad but they remain in our minds for long times.
Usually, the memories with intense emotions are the ones that are remembered more frequently. The same is true with an affair. Because the impact of an affair is far reaching, it is often very difficult to forget about the affair. You can not change the affair, but you can alter the meanings associated with it.
The past will need to be put behind you. To heal the marriage, focus on the future and the present. Work towards rebuilding your marriage in the present, and look to the future with hope because the future is bright for both of you if you rebuild your marriage and work it out.
Before you can effectively close the chapter of the affair, you have to openly discuss what happened and what you have learned as a result of the affair and what each of you need from each other. This way, you can let go of the hold of the past. You can create a future with hope and face that future together.
