Working Out for your Marriage after an affair

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Cinderella went running and left her glass shoes at the palace when the clock struck twelve midnight. I’m sure you still remember her story, how the Prince pursued her and how they lived happily ever after.

Unfortunately for most couples, there isn’t a happily ever after. The prince and princess do not always have a life of bliss after their crisis. At the first sign of trouble, they leave their slippers and their commitment behind and run out of their partnership for good. The likelihood of this is greater with partners who have been married before. The affair can break an enduring marriage because of the deep sense of betrayal and loss of trust. Unlike the Prince in the Cinderella story, a lot of spouses who inflicted the pain of having an affair do not pursue their Cinderella back into their life.

It’s always sad to watch good marriages flounder in mistrust and quarrel. For couples who are going through this stage think that divorce might be the best option. That means, however, that they have given up totally on their marriage!

How about you? If you’re reading this article, then you or somebody you know is probably going through the painful aftermath of an affair. Should you leave the palace for good like what Cinderella has done? Would you wait for the “Prince” to rescue you?

Perhaps a better option would be working out for your marriage after an affair. You might have to spend sometime outside the “castle” of your marriage and think things through. Allow your pain, your bitterness and your anger to simmer down so you would be able to think clearly.

After your period of thinking and assessing the situation, talk to your spouse about the affair. It will be uncomfortable. It will hurt. It will be a difficult time for both of you. But talk anyway. There is no better way of discovering the root causes of the affair. You might discover shortcomings on your end, too. But more importantly, effective communication is the best way to understand each other.

The good thing about communication is that you will be reminded of the importance of the good things about your spouse. And that might be one of the best ways to get back on track with your marriage.