Those involved with affairs often compartmentalize their lives. They separate out the affair from the rest of their lives. Such compartmentalizing does not stop when the affair is over. When this habit begins, it is often difficult for those afflicted with it to be honest. The lack of honesty makes it difficult if not impossible to openly address the affair and the issues related to it.
If those involved were honest with themselves from the beginning, they would have seen where the affair would lead. They would of have an inkling of what the outcome of their actions would be. In order to keep an affair going, it is common to seperate out the portions of their lives. They make excuses like “It’s my life, I deserve some happiness!” or “What they don’t know will not hurt them” or “We are both consenting adults and no one is getting hurt!” Each of these are excuses. They serve to confuse the mind and keep the person from seeing how their actions do have consequences.
Being honest with yourself and your spouse is essential in overcoming the effects of an affair. The secrets need to be replaced with honesty.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
