Have you ever considered whether guilt was a good or bad thing? Before assuming one answer you need to consider how you deal with that questions is an important part of your affair recovery.
Typically when you do something bad, you experience guilt reactions. Guilt is part of the natural systems that are hard-wired into you for your protection.
Guilt reminds you that you’ve crossed a line that shouldn’t have been crossed. Guilt works best when it occurs naturally.
When you shame your spouse into feeling guilt, it’s effects are shorter in term than when they experience guilt on their own. Inducing guilt from outside is not as effective as guilt reactions coming from the inside.
Guilt itself is more about dreading the punishment and paybacks for what happened. Although it should be about a sense of conviction for having committed a moral wrong.
When your spouse experiences guilt, they’re miserable. Removing the guilt too soon via premature forgiveness is never a good idea.
Nor is it a good idea for them or you to ignore guilt. Guilt is alerting them and you that something needs changing.
Recently, some readers have contacted me about the guilt they experienced related to engaging in swinging or affairs. They knew they crossed a line that damaged their marriage.
Guilt for them is tormenting, yet it’s leading to transformations in their lives. Their guilt is now leading them to make positive changes in their marriage.
Rather than plunging headlong into the dark world they stepped into, they are listening to the warning signs of guilt. Listening and taking action when the warnings go off gives them hope.
It saddens me that others, view guilt as a temporary inconvenience which they either ignore or find ways of silencing it’s irritating alarm. Yes, you can ignore guilt and sear your conscience. There are even sites that provide cheaters with tools and methods for doing so.
Rather than ignore the warning sign of guilt, view it as a good thing, alerting you that now is the time for making changes in your marriage.
If your marriage needs additional intensive help consider a consultation package. I’ve had some appointment times become available. I encourage you to act quickly.
With the consultation, you’ll receive weekly personal calls, and personal email support. The guilt is not something to ignore. If you want to take advantage of this opportunity contact me via e-mail.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
