Recent events in my life have reminded me of the importance of trust. Trust is so foundational to relationships, that it’s often taken for granted. Like the old ‘you can’t see the forest for the trees’ saying, there are times you can’t see the trust when it’s right in front of you.
Relationships rely on trust, especially marriage. Even though trust is relied upon for a marriage to work, trust is rarely addressed until it’s severely damaged or gone. The foundations for your relationships may have some serious trust flaws that you’ve never realized. You’ve grown so accustomed to them, that you didn’t realize it.
The recent events made me consider how you show your spouse you trust them. Since actions speak louder than words, our actions regarding trust reveal how much we really trust each other.
It’s one thing to trust your spouse with daily routine activities. It’s quite another trusting them with money and things of value. Since they may not value it as highly as you do, you experience some hesitancy regarding trust.
Two of the areas where I see trust-related conflicts are bank accounts and cell phones. If you can’t trust your spouse with your phone and bank account, you have some serious trust issues that need attention.
The first step toward rebuilding trust is to identify the areas in your relationship that need improvement. If you can’t trust your spouse with your phone or bank account, what makes you think you can trust them with anything else? Identifying the problem is the first step to fixing it.
There’s something about money and privacy that trigger trust issues. Trust issues are always worth the time and effort required in repairing them.
If you can’t trust your spouse, it creates an invisible barrier between you. It’s like a wall that keeps you from really connecting. If you want to have a strong and healthy relationship, trust is essential. Trust is the foundation which all other things are built upon.
I cringe hearing couples telling me in therapy sessions about having separate bank accounts. With that one action, I know that there are trust issues within their marriage.
Trust is one of the first qualities damaged prior to an affair happening and one of the last areas fully restored. Even after the affair, there are lingering areas of distrust. Things like out-of-town trips and having access to the ATM card remain sensitive areas.
If you find yourself questioning your spouse’s activities or whereabouts, trust has already been damaged. Once trust is gone, it’s hard to get it back. If you want to save your marriage, start by rebuilding the foundation of trust. It’s essential for a healthy and happy relationship.
If the trust in your marriage has been damaged, you’ll want the video “How can I trust you again?” The video guides you through what trust is so that you’ll know the specific concrete areas needing attention.
Rebuilding trust doesn’t have to be a mystery. You can know what to do along with pinpointing the areas needing further help.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
