Many affairs start of as innocent engagements. What starts as an innocent dinner or business meeting can morph
into something that is not so innocent. When the OW (Other Woman) or OM (Other Man) are seducers, they hide their true intentions behind innocent activities.
When they hide behind such activities they have ‘plausible deniability’. The cheater can also play innocent when any accusations are made.
You end up looking paranoid or obsessive when you start making accusations about their so-called innocent activities.
In some cases, the innocent activity is just that, yet seducers count on you dropping your guard and lulling you into a false sense of security. The best way to assess such matters is to ‘trust your gut’.
If it’s innocent, you’ll often sense it. When your gut tells you something, you may need to heed the ‘flashing yellow lights’.
Your body and mind are likely sensing things that are outside your conscious awareness. Something doesn’t feel right, yet you can’t put your finger on it.
You are likely picking up on patterns or changes that are barely perceptible. It may be their tone of voice or the way they walk or say something.
There’s something about the pattern that doesn’t fit right.
My brother in law often refers to the “sniff test“. “When something doesn’t smell right, then you need to avoid it” is what he tells me. The same procedure can be used with those dinners and other innocent events.
When something doesn’t pass the sniff test, it’s time for caution.
If you’re not sure, you’ll want a support group that can help. Joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle may be what you’re looking for. Once a member, you’ll have free access to videos on affair trauma, preventing relapse and others.
You’ll also have a forum where you can share your suspicions, stories or sadness.
Best Regards,
Jeff
4 Responses
I think that God loves ROMANCE…and anything intimate and romantic that people can do ..they need to do WITH THEIR SPOUSE>
Doing anything that is romantic with anyone else is dangerous for all concerned….
What comprises ‘romantic’ …Dinner alone! Meeting for drinks….with anyone NOT the spouse PERIOD.
Todays world takes too many liberties redefining what is acceptable …but no matter WHAT others may think is ‘innocent’ …people need to be FIRST concerned with what GOD tells us …and what effects any choice may have upon our spouse….
ALso any ‘romantic ‘ or intimate solo meeting with anyone other than the spouse MAY cause the OP to get to thinking thoughts they should not for their own soul’s sake….
Leading others on in any way is not ‘loving ‘ to anyone ..despite how much they ‘just want to be friends’
If it is not the spouse …RUN Like the wind…all the way HOME! Hug your spouse…and romance the one that needs it!
Zaza,
I agree, I think God wants us to enjoy romance and enjoy time with our spouse. When romance is taken out of context, it becomes a tool of seduction. In the case of affairs, that seduction often has disastrous consequences.
We all need romance or the joie de vivre (the joy of life). We need to enjoy our lives and our spouses.
Thank you Jeff….still waiting here …maybe in another 32 years?? …
Not really …I feel that if I can offer some comfort to my now depressed husband maybe that is ‘romantic’ on some planet….
Part of enjoying loving someone is when they are willing to RECEIVE it with enjoyment….
In that case I am waiting for both ends of that spectrum to appear ….for him to “allow” me to love him would be nice …and then maybe someday he will begin to want to love me too …or maybe at least want to date me ..
I have some time left ….only JUST got my medicare card …! Whoopee! I am in my third round of ‘youth’!
:>O
Nice response in return of this matter with real arguments and telling everything on the topic of that.