There are some questions about affairs that come around like clockwork. One of those concerns is whether or not you can be brainwashed into having an affair.
For some reason, readers have an easier time accepting how gaslighting changes people and leaves them believing things about themselves or their marriage that aren’t true than they have accepting brainwashing. Gaslighting is a form of brainwashing.
Although brainwashing comes in many forms and uses a variety of techniques, choices are still made. With brainwashing, you feel helpless and are unaware of your options. Being unaware of your options doesn’t mean you didn’t make choices.
In an affair, you might not be considering all of your options, but you are making a choice. An affair is a choice. You might not feel like you have a choice, but you do.
It may be simple choices like whether or not to believe what the brainwasher is telling you. Those messages are used to either build you up or tear you down. The important part is that the seducer is in control. Fear is often used in making your frame of mind vulnerable to their manipulation.
With affairs involving brainwashing, the dynamic is more akin to that of a dominant and a submissive, rather than an affair between two lovers. An affair with brainwashing has many control issues embedded within it.
Brainwashers enjoy mind games and the control they exercise through them. Those games continue being used based on them being effective. The brainwasher is programming their victim.
Although I wish that brainwashing affairs were only theoretical. I’ve encountered couples wrestling with them and their effects.
The power of brainwashing is real. Each time the victim gives in, they give up more and more of their willpower and control.
Moving past them has its own challenges. In such cases, it requires not only ending the affair, but a rebuilding of your marriage and your spouse.
In the Affair Recovery Workshop, you can learn ways of changing what’s been going on in your marriage. Anytime you recover from an affair some rebuilding is required and intimacy renewed.
Rather than writing off wounded spouses, you can instead work with them in rebuilding. Click and download your copy of the workshop today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
