Today’s a good day for dealing with a question from a reader. Someone recently finishing the webinar asked “I have too many details in my mind. I found videos and letters. I read too much and saw too much. How do I get past images of that?”
This is one of the problems that comes with TMI (Too Much Information). Rather than binge drink, the temptation you face is binging on information while obsessing about the affair. Like binge drinking, there’s a hangover that comes from overdoing it.
Only this hangover stays in your head, even after taking pain killers. This is one of the dangers that come with obsessing about the affair.
It drives you to binge on information about it, the lover, and more. It’s as if you are binging on affair pourn.
What makes this situation worse is the addition of videos. Pictures and videos cement things in your mind. It’s no longer something you imagine. You can see for yourself what happened. It makes what happened very real.
Your mind connects data points of material you have stored away. What you call memory is actually the recall of those data points into a cohesive whole.
Your mind creates a story that connects the dots of what you know. The problem is that the story it creates isn’t required to make sense or be factual.
With images and videos, the associations in your brain are stronger and resist fading into the background.
With all that information, choices are created as well. You now face decisions you hadn’t considered before. The more you know, the more choices you encounter.
The problem with all the choices is that your mind freezes when you are facing too many choices.
The good news is that you can put those things behind you. You can move past the immobilization that comes with too many choices.
The downside is that it requires effort and practice in doing so. You may want to put it behind you, but are you willing to do what it takes in order to make it happen?
You want peace of mind, but are you willing to do what it takes?
Most of you want quick fixes and are reluctant to do what it takes. There are no healthy ‘quick-fixes’ that block out those images and memories.
Although the reader asked for ‘how’, it would take a while laying all that out. It will take forgiveness and unlearning. Just my video on forgiveness, where I go over the ‘how’ is over an hour in length.
After applying forgiveness, you’ll need some ‘unlearning’ that comes with mindfulness. I address this in some of the other videos concerning trauma.
To find out more about the forgiveness video, click here.
You can move past this. Your brain can change its focus with some help and guidance.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
