There are times you may wonder if your spouse has been ‘programmed’ (or brainwashed) to cheat. They act as if they’re executing a program rather than being a living, breathing, responsive human being.
Yes, they have passions, yet those passions have more in common with following orders than being a spontaneous expression. If you’re dealing with such a situation, your spouse could have very well been programmed to cheat.
You may have blamed them for being a slut, sex addict, or even being possessed. Instead of these being the case, your spouse may be the victim of programming.
They still made choices, yet when they are programmed, their ability to choose has been compromised. When people are programmed, their ability to resist has been impaired.
Your suspicion that they have been ‘programmed’ is not crazy thinking. In getting past the affair, you will need to trust your gut and intuitions in such areas.
They provide valuable insights as to what you are actually dealing with. Programmed cheating presents unique challenges.
Some programming is unintentional, in terms of some forms of early childhood sexual abuse, or dysfunctional emotional programming put in place by their family of origin. Severe trauma changes their brain and behaviors. As sick as it sounds, there are some people who have been intentionally programmed as well.
With intentional programming, there are trigger phrases embedded in their minds which are activated at specific times. Whether the programming was intentional or unintentional, you are still faced with the challenge of “What can I do about them being programmed to cheat?”
Once you are aware of the programming, you can take steps to change things. The programming can be by-passed.
It often stays there, yet newer responses can overwrite the programmed response. When you know it is there, you can help the cheater makes conscious choices to ‘just say no’ to the programmed response.
It will be important to keep their mind active rather than staying in a ‘passive’ mode. When they stay passive, they are more vulnerable to the programming being executed.
You will also want to keep their mind alert and sober. Allowing them to dull their mental activity can weaken the attempt to override the programming.
For more help in recovering from an affair, including a ‘programmed one’, check out the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop”. In it, you’ll discover ways for improving your communication, having more effective confrontations and increasing the intimacy in your marriage.
An affair does not have to mean the end of your marriage, even in programmed situations.
Best Regards,
Jeff
