Shame often paralyzes those touched by cheating. It keeps you from reaching out to others. It keeps you from seeking help. It puts you into a bubble of desperation. You want to do something, yet shame keeps you locked into doing nothing. To take action is equated with admitting there is a problem. To admit that a problem exist could mean that you are a failure and that your marriage is a failure. The shame of viewing your marriage as a failure prevents you from taking action. Somehow taking action to do something about the cheating is being ‘sneaky’ and ‘secretive’ on top of shameful.
You know what the cheater would say and how they will accuse you of not trusting them, or worse claiming that you are ‘crazy’ for suspecting that they had an affair. Shame is used against you to keep you passive. Shame is the enemy of taking action.
If you suspect or know your spouse is cheating, the time for action is now. Every day you let the shame keep you passive only makes the pain worse.
I will be talking about dealing with affair over the holidays in a free webinar on Wednesday. You can sign up for it here. The time to take action is now.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
